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i'm huiwen.
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28march91.
attached <3.
redfoxventures.
temasekpolytechnic

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Thursday, March 27, 2008, 2:59 PM

HELLOs! today i got a story to tell(:

i remember i got this very good sister. it happened that i found a diary on her desk.

it goes like this:

dear diary,

it's going to be our fourth month. i feel so blessed because he's always there with me no matter im sad or happy or even angry.
remember how it started out?
yes,forever it will be marked on my memory(:

it was around august..we got to know each other because we went to kbox together with other two friends. i remember that he didnt sing. i was thinking..is he too shy to sing? or he doesnt have a good voice? i had no idea. i found him a very weird person because he was willing to pay 20 bucks to sit at a corner listening to us singing.

then it was around september, our gap got smaller. we often hung out together and did some studies. we also chat on the phone often. he always made me laugh on the phone until i got gastric): however you wont know how much i enjoy talking with him.
one day, he hesitated and told me,"i think i got a little crush on you."
really? i was a little surprised.
i told my very good friend about it because it didnt seems believing.

she went to ask him the very next day.
he admitted that it's real. HOW? i didnt know how to react.
at night, we chat on the phone again. he told me that he's confused. about what?
he said that i wasnt his type and hinting that he shouldnt like me anymore. he didnt want to continue all those phone calling.i felt a twinge in my heart. what does that mean? end of everything?

the distance between him and me got further.i knew something was wrong. i asked my very good friend if he did tell her anything.she denied. really? i thought. my six senses will never betray me. sure?
he ignored me. it's so heartbreaking.
my tears were not behaving. they fell off without my permission. what's going on? have i develop feelings for him?
everytime he walked past me, i would always look at him, waiting for him to say a big HELLO to me. but it never happened.i got very carried by it. is it because he can feel it that's why he ignores me?

that period of time, he sticked to my very good friend. are they together? when has it started? behind my back? why?
i was so helpless seeing my heart cracking into million pieces and i still had to use those million pieces to forgive all those f* things and myself for falling for him.
i didnt want to understand.
they always studied together, went home together. so am i entitle the name of the invisible woman? a heavy big drop of tear fell on the second last bench from the back.this buddy took a tissue for me, asking me if he worths that much of my tears.no matter how sad i was, always portraited a good and lively character in front of my very good friend and him.HAHAHA

maybe my very good friend didnt want to hide things from me or maybe other reasons.
she told me that actually he felt something and he didnt want me to continue to like him.he saw nothing in it.he wanted my very good friend to help out so that i would give up.he felt that it was a crush not like ,not love.simply CRUSH. is that necessary?

i knew that was the thing i sensed it long ago. this time he called. asking me if im able to help him in his work. i agreed and also questioned him about that issue. his silence told me everything.i knew that no longer could i pull our distance closer.he said that we could only be friends-ORDINARY ones.
i was very upset.i hid myself in the big blanket. my heart was "squeezed" like the way people squeeze the orange for its juice until i cant get a wink.i felt so painful and i cried quietly wetting my bedsheet.does he know all this heartwrenching stuff im going under? why must he buy the stuff i like and make me happy when he got a crush on me and now he's telling me that we are just ORDINARY friends?

but men have to honour his words. he promised to work together after our major exam.
we went to several job interviews and got into the same one.
as time passed, feelings grew. we went out together,hanging out with our clique.
on the way home on the train, he would just look at me when i was staring into spaces. i felt something-good.
one day our clique called us out. it was the very incident which made him confess.
he was jealous, he was angry. he told me that he likes me alot. well, a lil itchy inside.
for that night, both of us couldnt sleep.
as usual, every morning i would pull him to work.
so it happened as per normal. he was grumbling. "can you stop pulling my bag? why cant you hold my hand while dragging me to work?"
i ignored him. he held my hand. hehe. of course i was giggling inside not to let him know.
i tilted my head a little and saw his big smile.
however he still hadnt ask me that question. is he lacking some courage? or is he hesitating because he's afraid that it's just a big crush?
thousand of questions.
after work, he asked if he can send me home. i knodded my head. he told me that he intended to quit his job. he knew i didnt want him to quit because i hate facing loneliness.a condition-to hold his hand.
akwardly, i placed my palms on his and grabbed loosely. hello? can anyone tell me is that the right thing to do?
i fear..i scared that it's just a scam.

that night he sent me home again. but not holding hands. finally i reached my block. he wanted to ask something but he just couldnt open his mouth and so he decided to try another day.
"WAIT! you come back to this spot!" pointing my finger at that spot that he was just now.
he mastered his courage and finally asked.."are you willing to be my girlfriend?"
WOO (: you can see my soul floating around and there were "fireworks" everywhere.

it has been tough on me and him. i was elated burrr after so many incidents. as i wished(: so my fairy godmom did bless me.i really love him. he gives me alot of surprises, always give in and makes me feel like the world is evolving around me. i feel so loved every moment.he always text a message that makes me feel like popping to the ceiling.whenever im sad, he will no say more but to give me a very warm hug to ensure me things are going fine.he always makes me burst into laughter when life is a lil dull.he will pull me closer whenever i almost fall.he knows me so well-my favourites, my needs and my wants.during the late nights,he always wait for hours for me to knock off..standing like a statue without a omplain.sometimes i got a lil discomfort, he will look into my eyes asking if im alright or i need to consult a doctor.he will worry about my health and make sure that im having my meals regularly.he also pops me a kiss when i look bored or to get my attention. he is so sweet aint he?

thanks alot for giving me such a good boyfriend(:

love,
CP

*****end of the diary entry*****

HAHA. luckily she didnt realise that i saw this page of her diary and i didnt know that she'd really been through so much just to be with that guy.and good that she had a happy ending(:

end of today. cya guys