define what's within
if i ain't got you baby

i'm huiwen.
eighteen.
28march91.
attached <3.
redfoxventures.
temasekpolytechnic

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AHKEI BOMB PRIS AMANDA ANDRINA HANGQI WANLING KEN FATASS NAVJOTH TOHWEE EDDIE SHAWN NICHOLAS CHEN

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we fall back into the same patterns, same routine.
Thursday, December 30, 2010, 11:20 PM

somehow i was quite hesitant to blog today.

all you think about me is like this.

i cant do much. No matter how much i say, (maybe you think i deserve it), you couldnt give me slightest understanding and appreciation.

Are you getting back at me? who is not disappointed?

I've kindly informed you my decision about weekends. Do you show appreciation or sarcasm?

Work like a dog, a pile of setbacks, yes..serve me right. What makes you think you are no different from me in terms of what you said.

I'm not being loved, cared and appreciated. AWESOME.

Disappointed? So am i.

/edited

i really need you, but you could only see yourself.
Struggling very hard with myself, is there someone i can really fall back on right now?




Thursday, December 23, 2010, 10:17 AM

Im not a life bouy.

Im not a superhuman.

I dont wish to know, hear and learn anything from you about this matter.
When you hurt yourself, you hurt me.
and you have no idea.

Maybe im indebted to you.

Thanks, not.




Once again
Wednesday, December 15, 2010, 10:17 PM

Once again, i'm correct about you.

i wouldnt have mind if my sleep were sacrificed. If you never learn to love yourself, i will start treasuring every time of mine.

If you ever asked, i care as much as the person.

My words don't weigh a gram. My worries are redundant.

I will silently watch you from the back, i will be someone who you can fall back on when you are finally awaken.

Maybe after a thousand slashes in your heart..

In conclusion, I'm still not someone yet.




Saturday, December 11, 2010, 10:34 PM

you always do this. is it selfish or selfless?

All these seems to be my own problem, the trouble i created for myself.
The way you define your 'comfort' is not the way i define it. i'm always alone

am i regretting my life?




work scope over time
Monday, December 06, 2010, 10:04 PM

Wednesday -> meet supplier, take samples, compile 4 lab reports

Thursday -> calculate equations, edit Major Project (MP) log book, submit parts of proposal for compilation, edit formulation, emails

Friday -> Submit proposal, study for test, do MP related stuff, emails

Saturday -> Plan MP related stuff, calculations, emails

Sunday -> Re-design poster for MP

Monday -> Consultation, call MP related companies, emails

This is fucking hell tired. I cant believe that my karma comes back. Im now leader for MP and core subject.
Every hour is so precious, every bar of my laptop battery is crucial. When everyone sinks deeply in their comfy bed, I'm still awake, dealing with monster who never stop twisting my words. Maybe it should learn from life experience: not everyone is a bully but a bully cant bully everyone.
Oops, i'm always careful and i have a back up for everything, especially to problematic, obnoxious and obstinate aliens. I will never fight for 50% win battle. It's either a 100% win or never try to fight.
well, aliens always enrich my life but also make me exhausted.

I enjoy the busy life to a certain extent. When i finally crawl back to my bed, i will play my favourite song of the week, indulge in the melody and vocal, relax my muscles. Certain songs bring back some flashes of memories in europe, esp. in zermatt, switzerland when i walked back to the hotel alone in the night, surrounded by mountains and greenlands. Cold breeze embraced me in an awkward manner. Rush of the river flows created more air circulations. No one wandered on the streets after 9, 5 degree celcius in the early autumn brought more loneliness in life. Silvery moon in the dark sky lit up the streets. And there was someone i missed in Singapore.

okay! goodnight :D I need some music therapy