Told you so

define what's within

if i ain't got you baby

i'm huiwen.
eighteen.
28march91.
attached <3.
redfoxventures.
temasekpolytechnic

AHKEI BOMB PRIS AMANDA ANDRINA HANGQI WANLING KEN FATASS NAVJOTH TOHWEE EDDIE SHAWN NICHOLAS CHEN

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Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 10:36 PM

im not suppose to blog now because im working early in the morning and going to run an errand and back to MJR for ventures events.

i know i have not blogged about my bday. but let me just rant abit.

after blog hopping for almost 2 hours. i somehow have this feeling inside me..a feeling that has lost since i graduated.
thinking of teachers now.. i cant even remember mrs tan..who is known as prof. snape all along.. i mean i took a long time to remember who's mrs tan. i only remember mr lee, ernie and mdm cheah who gave me the most impact in my secondary school life.

haha dealing with poly maths now isnt a problem. because now i see why people always say practice makes perfect.

currently, im in redfox ventures..an active member although my boyfriend didnt really show support or should i say he shows little support.
erm. being in such a situation where guys are more than girls, it has become something that im used to. not much of a worry because im always faithful as this 16 months show.
in guides, all i thought of was to bring up the girls and make them a better future leaders. because we were going to spend our good 1-3 years together, i screwed them, knocked them down, pissed them off, yelled at them and hardly talked to them nicely [sounds like im another navjoth.. HAHAHA.] so maybe by learning the hard way, they would forever remember in their heart. being a failure or successor, i dont know..im not in the right position to judge myself. but at least now i know that they appreciate what i have done although they hate me like shit in the past or maybe some of them do now for whatever reason it can be.

now in scouts, things are different. we were not there bonding with them when they first invested. somehow we are seen in no position to instruct, advise and teach them. maybe not as a whole but for the female side. however it has become a explicit fact that females can join ventures. we are here, hello?

our roles in ventures is to work as a committee and come out with events and we work it out together with each other help.
how about scouts? bad news to them.. system has changed. from the past i know ventures and scouts are never one system. but now we came into the picture due to the changes made by the leaders and have to create this bridge to pull our gap closer.

due to manpower problem, ventures are now involved to advise, instruct and teach.
we are there to assist the leaders or for any other reasons that you might think. if my job is just to be a programmer in ventures and not involve in scouts, i would be stretching my toes and need not crack my brain for any further notice or events, trying to squeeze some spare time out of my busy schedule,to ask my dear ventures down for meeting and help for planning. we are not here for no good reasons. think..never were they in our shoes looking from our angle.

we never want to screw them ..piss them off. it was just one incident and they are now bearing grudges. let's see what we can do on 14 april. i cant wait for the day. we dont need time to accept them because we are ever ready. it's them who need time. so use this time given [1 month time ] and learn what's maturity. and would they one day appreciate what we do for them in the future like my dear guides? trying harder to make things possible might give a backfire. soon we shall see.

im not trying to give any wise words or nag on. because these have always been in my heart that i have to let it out.

and MM AQM.soon im going to leave you because these two words, our welfare, are the last that come into your dictionary. not to see you anymore when holiday ends. goodbye.

Monday, March 30, 2009, 12:09 AM

thanks REDFOX, GG, BOMB and friends, poly friends and the rest of the people :D
special thanks to REDFOX leaders and ventures and my clique including BOMB and BEST.
i'll blog about my bday soon:D

by the way, though i acted like im not bothered, actually deep down in my heart, i really mind about your absence. i really miss you my friend. all of us know the reason why you are grounded. i was v. touched [i swear i felt like crying at the point of time] when i saw the cake and the present from you. i know i was never forgotten but..hardly play a role in your current life. hey i hope we really meet up soon. hope we still can catch up. frankly speaking, i really miss you. you may want to arrange a time with me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 7:21 PM

weee~ best secretly told bomb that we are going prawn fishing tomorrow :D wahhh! WE'RE ANTICIPATING!

i want to go HAJI LANE AGAIN :DDDDD not to have any sheesha. but to shopppppp :D:D
COME MONEY! COME TO ME :D:D:D:D

Monday, March 23, 2009, 11:06 AM

now im officially a venture in Red Fox Scouts :D
VTC was fun (:

p/s: we saw rong yan :D she looks different but great and truly speaking we miss her. great to know she's doing fine(:

Monday, March 16, 2009, 11:13 PM

YOU ARE TURNING 18! happy?

yeah fucking no.

good evening people or whoever bitches or bastards reading this.
im now not in a good mood due to certain things.

maybe i should be happy because im meeting my dearest lovely mary tomorrow because i miss her.

well to another friend, do you miss me or even us?
even if so, your actions are not telling us the truth.
not in the society yet. but we are acting like one. trying to act busy when you can be as relax as the guppies in the tank.
we do have time. it's the way we organise and find ways to make ourselves free.
not say im perfect in this. but im learning.
have you even learn?
see your priority? or are you always not letting other priorities to become one of those significant ones?

i want to be v. frank. but how to? you are always taking this as a piece of shit.
tell me the last date we met? erm.. let's talk about outing.. it's nearly 3 months for your info, blurry?

you and your fucking $@#%^&*() im really pissed.
dont tell me you are going to do what we missed in the holiday during my bday. because you know the next thing i will do is to cab home w.o giving you any face or even beat you up [if only you change your sex. i will if you are a male]
you created this shit and you clean it now before it hardens and decomposes,
i hate to listen things i dont want to hear. and dont let it repeat in my ears.

goodnight peepo.

btw the things i learnt in job week camp are RESPECT and SEXIST.
the things i learnt in job week are sincere and dont take things to heart. because you will feel many setbacks after the end of the whole jobweek.

To scouts:
you just dont know my background stories and who i am because you all werent there. ask PTW or GKM. be mindful that im the programmer of venture exco. meaning most of the time i'll be planning activities or camps for you. mutual respect is needed. i want it recipocal. or you will be attending the worst nightmare in your life if i were to be in the wrong mind because you deserved it. i'll try my best to give whatever is best for you. fun and whatever you all hope for. and good luck for whatever happens in the future. my last warning.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 12:07 PM

DDR has become our past time. we are not doing it anymore. it's not something we look forward to. maybe im the one who cares to take a look and make sure the feeling is always there.

all of a sudden i feel like singing..
come away with me- norah jones [vocal jazz]

this holiday is not fruitful at all. things are not planned in the way we thought.
we thought we could have a sleepover at mary house. but now seems like i have become the organiser of the sleepover and my only participant is mary.
you have you and your interest.
okay.
i know.
whatever.
nevermind.
compromise.
and i shall shut up.

i really hate this feeling because things have changed over the night.
BOOM! another wave of unexpected.
im not a superhuman.

it's only when you are busy, you will find/try to squeeze a slot of free time for others. and im busy and so
im tired.
nowadays it's difficult to find someone to talk. or am i concealing myself with those troubles and secrets i have?
no i know im not that..or am i adapting to situation and have made a change?

com'on huiwen.
your teenage treasure hunt is meant to mermerize.

im feeling $%^*&() i dont know.
it seems like as i get older, im losing things.

when you told me you got this and that and whatever you can burp it out, i got the urge to put down the phone immediately w/o saying goodbye. i make my time for you. all rejections piss me off. all arrangements dont go right. we are not supposed to behave like this.
NO. as much as i could, i wish that my mouth is shut so i wouldnt comment and hurt our feelings. you explained plenty of time telling me not because you spend more time with him, means im losing touch with you. but now?
what am i to you?

If my sky should fall
Would you even call

till now, im not used to the change because it was abrupt. think about it if you were me. doubt you ever will. see you when you feel like it

Monday, March 09, 2009, 2:07 PM

idk idk idk

tuesday-chalet with weizhen, mic and mic's bf and co

wednesday-not yet plan

thursday-not yet plan

friday-meet EP, off to work..then midnight movie with ventures

saturday-straight away go for JW camp after movie.

sunday-after JW camp, work early in the morning till 3 in the afternoon-.=

okay im a superhuman from friday to sunday? i need to talk to you face to face. we are not those sort of non verbal people. com'on

Sunday, March 08, 2009, 7:28 PM