define what's within
if i ain't got you baby

i'm huiwen.
eighteen.
28march91.
attached <3.
redfoxventures.
temasekpolytechnic

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AHKEI BOMB PRIS AMANDA ANDRINA HANGQI WANLING KEN FATASS NAVJOTH TOHWEE EDDIE SHAWN NICHOLAS CHEN

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Friday, February 19, 2010, 12:06 AM

Everytime i blog, it's always not a good thing.
yes, this time round too.
luckily i have a blog that not many poly friends know. which im quite glad.

let's say this. i admit the fact that i cant go well with girls but not all. and i prefer having male friends because they are more steady in terms of handling situation and dont bitch as much as girls do.
commenting something about me yet you know nuts about me.. cool
No. of people who don't like me is lesser or equal to No. of people who like me. nothing to be sad about. because maybe even before the person doesn't like me, i choose not to be nice. i like to choose my friends selectively.

i'm a frank person, i don't beat around the bush to tell you that you suck. i will say it straight in your face unless you are someone who i care. i hate my friends commenting something about me behind my back but not telling me straight to the face because i'm willing to accept facts about me that may not please me.
i will show you my attitude when i'm unhappy about certain stuff, if i tell you, yet you insist in your way and don't change, i will ignore you for life. i always mean it. what i mean by friends are the ones who are always with me. not be by me. hypocrites? double standards? No. find someone else who can fake with you.
i don't like it.
who are my best friends? people who are with me when the world is against me. those are my best friends. i will swear with my heart to treat the person good forever - Mary. HAHAHAHA eh i treat you good k! we went for a romantic date on the actual valentine day :D

so in return, even the world is against my friends who treat me well, i will go against the world even just for that one friend.
which is true.

what so lucky about me is that i have found a mirror of me, which is michelle.
who in poly knows me better than her?

what most regretted is that, i should not bring in sympathy, i should have written what is so true about you that everyone in the grp hates you to the max. leniency should come only if you repent. so forget it dog. anyway your peer evaluations for all subjects are so damn cool. lowest in the group. i cant wait to see those disappointment in those teachers.

and that stupid bitch from my former class, you can tell the whole wide-world about my family background, my secondary school background. but what do you gain? you can say things that are not real so?
im not ashame of what kind of family i come from.. i can say it's a well-to-do family. being secretive about my family background because i want a low profile life. get it? bitch.. you know nth and you even betray the trust i gave you. even at this stage, you couldn't respect yourself as a human. so lie low and be a dog.

to c: you can go ahead and tell others your tall stories. some bitches will buy that but majority wont. go with the bunch of freeloaders who you thought are your new good friends :D we don't need you




Monday, February 15, 2010, 7:01 PM


hello peeps, it's CNY and what is in the past, im ready to let go. so cool. opening up my arms to welcome exams :/

and and tmr maybe going out with pris and MARY




to priscilla's request
Friday, February 05, 2010, 9:44 PM

PART II

im angry. and you know im short tempered and have very low tolerance when i know it is wrong yet no one is doing anything to salvage the problem.

i was from a UG and although it is a fucked up CCA, my passion never died till the very end when i graduated. after i graduated, my interests in planning and pioneering grew. i decided to join mjr scout ventures. i planned for camps and activities (carwashing and jobweek and that stupid leader didnt go according to my schedule on that actual day) and i tried my first time pioneering my own campsite when i just learnt pioneering that very day. i dont mind being bullied and asked to do all the shitty jobs because i seriously like camps and i like the team spirit built during all the trainings.
i like to design and draw out my inspirations. it might be simple. but i swear upon crossing my heart, it will turn out to be impressive. i drew throughout my own UG life and people will always look for me when it comes to drawing (because they simply dont use their brain to express their own creative which i believe everyone have it when borned just that they dont use it wisely from start).
no matter how much my boyfriend disagree with me being in this scout ventures, i was still that committed until one day we were on the verge of breaking up.
until the last camp, i had seen the true colours of my leaders. i hate them for being hypocrites. after showing so much initiative and effort, i was not appreciated because they felt that im not in the right position to talk to them (they denied this truth when i told them that they are like this, whatever). they crossed their hearts saying that they wont tell others about my honest feedback but i think they are borned with crooked mouths. they leaked it like nobody business. okay means like a backstab. walls have ears and it travels to my ears. (seriously, if you were to know me well, if i know something is not right and you dont mind me being straightforward, i will just say it in your face but not to everyone because i want to save some face for you.)
my own leader didnt want to admit the explicit that there is politic going on in our group and it made me hate this venture more.
maybe because i like things to be perfect like how i treat my work (such as drawing, planning and so on).
leaders are always contradicting. they were never united and always giving us feedback telling us that we are not united. unity is what they should do to show us.
some people think highly of themselves and never bother to listen.

in such a group, there will never be improvement.

maybe some of the scouts will read this (i will never say MY scouts since i never take them since their first year).
but i dont give a damn. this is the truth and i really cant take it.

not attending the campfire meetings because of my hectic life. some of the scouts might be complaining that we did nth. but you have no idea how poly life can kill especially courses with labs and experiments.
i have clearly told eddie that i would not be attending any of the meetings but will show my work.
i took my effort and time off to find a suitable picture. (up till now i cant believe that we got a stupid name for our campfire theme - freak park? why not thriller?)
i drew a freaking roller coaster that needed alot of details. although it is a draft not to be confirmed.
today i was informed that it will be the design for sign in board instead of the backdrop. why cant this be informed earlier so that i can think of what to draw?
i really think it is fuck up because i was thinking if the drawing suits to be backdrop, would it be too bombastic that no one could see from far?
i volunteered myself to help, and im not informed of anything, not even minutes thru my mail.
it really disappoints me. this whole thing makes me feel like im taken for granted.
for the start of my 2nd semester of my 2nd year, i do my projects almost until every dawn for good 2 months and yet have to think of the design. (i've promised eddie that i will try my best)

TODAY, i have made my decision:

Scouts and Ventures will never be in my priority list. i wont show my commitment anymore. you can start praying or get wonderful assistant scout venture leader to help.


on that campfire day, the scouts can start to get panic and go get all my seniors and juniors back to help. whatever, i dont give a damn, you die on your own. i could have helped if things were to be said earlier and nicely.

overall, i truely regretted joining a lousy CCA. should have joined tp inline skating and i wont have to quarrel with my best friend (priscilla) and my boyfriend so many times over this CCA.